The Creepy Line

26/10/10

Eric Schmidt goofed.

It wasn’t a massive, loud goof. It’s not as if he dropped custard into the cleavage of the wife of the Russian Prime Minister or sat on a Saudi Prince’s priceless and beloved cat. But he goofed, all the same, in a very significant way.

He said it was Google’s policy “to get right up to the creepy line and not cross it”.

A lot of people have talked about this, and mostly their worries centre on where the Creepy Line is and whether Google has crossed it. Since Mr Schmidt routinely says things like “We don’t need you to type at all. We know where you are. We know where you’ve been. We can more or less know what you’re thinking about”, which is creepy as hell as far as I’m concerned, that debate is pretty much uninteresting to me. Plus also, while I love Google for some of the things they’ve done, I don’t much fancy the ASA/Google Book Settlement. In fact, I think it’s a nightmare of compulsory licensing and private lawmaking. I think their attitude to (other people’s) IP and their attitude to privacy are of a piece, a kind of wonky, unexamined Ultra-Free Market Collectivism.

All that aside, what I find revealing about Mr Schmidt’s comment is this: it’s the perfect statement of conventional corporate culture. It’s not “Don’t Be Evil” at all. It’s “Get absolutely as close to Evil as you can without having to acknowledge that you’re evil.” And here’s the thing about Evil: it is diffuse. It is nebulous. The trick with avoiding Evil is that you don’t want to be near it, because it will slosh over the side of the Evil Bathtub and get Evil Foamy Suds on your shoes. If you want not to be Evil – as you can see pretty clearly if you read the coverage of the Iraq War Logs released recently by Wikileaks – you have to create a buffer zone between you and anything which even looks as if it could possibly be Evil. You have to say: “okay, that, over there, that is Evil, and we are going to avoid it! We will allow nothing of it to contaminate us! In fact, we will arrange our organisation in such a way that contact with us weakens and vanquishes it! Boooooo to Evil!”

That isn’t Mr Schmidt’s line at all. Evil works, so while he doesn’t want to be actually Evil, he’s apparently happy to nuzzle up against Evil (or as he puts it, ‘creepy’) and learn from it. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying he’s a bad guy. He’s not. That’s the sucky thing about Evil. It works on good people too.

It’s not Come To The Dark Side. In this context, the Dark Side will happily come to you.

6 Comments to “The Creepy Line”

  • Matt Keefe said on October 26th, 2010:

    War is Peace.
    Freedom is Slavery.
    Ignorance is Strength.
    Don’t Be Evil.
    Evil is Good.

    Or something.

  • Ali Smith said on October 26th, 2010:

    Schmidt has a history of saying things like this – which I personally like more than a slimy CEO who says nothing but the corporate line of nothing at all. At least he talks about this sort of thing, which (for me at least) is the key to the Don’t Be Evil thing.

    I’m not stupid enough to buy into that – Google will exploit it’s customers if it can get away with it. But, I think, they know that if they do something evil *we will know* and trust them less – eventually leading to us not using them…

    So it makes business sense not to do evil. Well, that’s what I think anyway and I’m a bit of Google fanboy.

  • NJ said on October 27th, 2010:

    Creeping up to evil is creepy.
    If Schmidt wants to not cross ‘the creepy line’, than no creeping.

    And best, as you suggest, to stay as far back from the line of evil as possible. Cause its not really a line; more like an ectoplasm.

  • Natty said on October 27th, 2010:

    Wasn’t that pretty much the whole point of TGAW? It’s what I took from it: That by getting as close to the ‘creepy line’ as poss without crossing it, they are actually just crossing it a little at a time.

    What grade of pencilneck would Eric Schmidt be then?

  • Nick Harkaway said on October 28th, 2010:

    Dude, I love your optimism, but – despite the fact that I admire the company in many ways – I think you have to acknowledge that it’s no longer “we will know and trust them less” so much as “we do know and trust them less”. China, privacy, GBS… Google isn’t the garage industry it once was, with curly-haired angelic naivety. It’s an outfit now, and “don’t be Evil” is pretty much over.

  • Nick Harkaway said on November 4th, 2010:

    PS:

    Dear Eric,

    How does your whole ‘Creepy Line’ thing square with this cartoon?

    http://itsfunnytome.tumblr.com/post/1472410249

    Cheers,

    NH

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