#iraqinquiry 2: This Time It’s Arsenal

(We join the conversation several minutes in, with the discussion chaired by Raymond Fisket Trout, formerly of the Mesopotamia Desk, MI6, and Sir Stephen Piddlehinton, former Under-Secretary for Arabian Relations under Margaret Thatcher)

Sir Gregory Bufton Hardacre: I think it’s very clear that Iraq was unique, in that while it wasn’t the most nerve-wracking in terms of actually developing WMD, it was the one we felt might give weapons to terrorists.

Raymond Fisket Trout: May I just break in here and ask why you felt that way?

Sir Greg.: Well, we had some pretty compelling evidence. From various sources, some of it, of course, people who’d been tortured, which is always a favourite at times like this. But also because Saddam had a history of aggression and the use of WMD. He used them against Iran and against the Kurds, for example.

Ray F-T.: Oh, yes. Yes, I remember. That was rather embarrassing, because we were very much in favour of him at the time… Why, I remember getting on the phone and saying to him, look here, old bean, you can’t just…

Sir Stephen Piddlehinton: I think we can pass over that, Raymond, if you don’t mind. National interest and so on.

Ray F-T.: National interest?

Sir Stephen P.: I mean to say that the nation is not interested.

Ray F-T.: Oh, quite so. Um, while you’re up, would you mind passing me another lemon cream?

Sir Stephen P.: Not at all. Good, aren’t they?

Ray F-T.: Very good.

Sir Greg.: If we could return to the issue of WMD…

Ray F-T.: that’s my line.

[laughter]

Sir Greg.: No, seriously… taxpayer’s money, after all… I think it’s important that we discuss (oh, these lemon creams are very good, aren’t they?) that we discuss the issues…

Sir Stephen P.: All right, then. Who was responsible for repackaging a report on battlefield munitions as a scare story about WMDs?

Sir Greg.: On sober reflection, pass the lapsang souchong, please…