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22/07/09

London's first Literary Death Match!

Order Clonazepam pills, Let me tell you how it went down. I know, because I was there. You want to know where all the blood came from, købe Clonazepam, and whose teeth those are. Those are my teeth, Order Clonazepam online legally, yo. Baby got owned last night.

And, as ever, the video proves my least favourite truth: I am not England's Brad Pitt, order Clonazepam pills. I am the blonde Marty Feldman.

Tempted as I am to put the whole thing into a vibrant street ode, Clonazepam en ligne afin, I wouldn't be able to match the likes of my Latitude hero Elvis McGonagall or one of last night's other contestants, Joe Dunthorne. Generic Clonazepam, Joe has balls of steel, is all I'm saying. He actually wrote something for the occasion, learned it, For Clonazepam online, and put it out there. Order Clonazepam pills, He was up first. In other words, Buy Clonazepam online, without knowing how the whole thing would play out in London or what the crowd would be - whether this would be more earnest or more drunken than the NYC event, or more angry or more whatever - he put a piece of untested work in front of them and did it well. He made them come along with him to Dunthornesville, and they went like lambs, Connecticut CT Conn. , I tell you. Like lambs. New York NY N.Y. , Balls.

Of.

Steel.

Tim Wells was up next, and he took Joe to town. Joe made them think, then Tim made them feel, order Clonazepam pills. For a moment, I thought I'd see that mop of hair rolling on the carpet, order Clonazepam pills. I thought - I really thought, when Tim fired off his poem about his glasses misting up - that Joe was in trouble. Jotta Clonazepam verkossa, The judges dithered, and then it was done: Tim was taken off on a stretcher and Joe was the champ of round one. Everyone went off to get some more drinks in.

Todd Zuniga Order Clonazepam pills, cracked the whip to get everyone back in line for the second round, and I was up. I'd put in some time doing my literary performance kata, pharmacy Clonazepam. My technique is good these days; I can flow right from "I'm Nick Harkaway, I have a morbid fear of looking like Boris Johnson" right into "this is chapter one" so smoothly that you don't feel the non sequitur going in. Discount Clonazepam, I can take your head clean off with it before you even know.

Just don't bow.

I gave the audience four brief readings, and I felt them weaken, order Clonazepam pills. I hit them with the first page, then moved on to the truth about modern war and sheep, Clonazepam no prescription. That combo is my special signature move, like the one Chun Li does in Streetfighter where she turns upside down. New Hampshire NH N.H. , My finishing technique was a bit I don't usually do about cherry pie. It's more like the secret strike D'Artagnan's father teaches him in the beginning of The Three Musketeers. Order Clonazepam pills, It's rapid and almost impossible to defend against.

I felt it go home. Yes, Maine ME Me. . Yes, I did. Cheap Clonazepam online legally, I rocked. The audience was mine, I tell you, mine mine MINE, order Clonazepam pills. They were laughing, they were surprised, they were putty.., buy Clonazepam.

And then Amber Marks kicked my bony arse.

Amber read with a simple, solid delivery which was very British and very dignified, Missouri MO Mo. , but at the same time full of humour. The audience didn't laugh out loud as much as they had for the fireworks with the pig-powered generator and the pie, but the judges gave her the match on points, and my head fell in the dust like a bad melon, New Jersey NJ N.J. .

Like I say, baby got owned. Order Clonazepam pills, And then, to make me feel better, she kicked Joe's bony arse as well... Clonazepam without prescription, The finale was a variation of that higher/lower card game which was part of a tv show a million years ago, except that the playing cards were all literary figures. It was irreverent and bloody hilarious. It went to a tiebreaker, ordering Clonazepam, and Joe lost by one point.

I don't know when the next London LDM is - Todd's off to Madrid and Tel Aviv - but you should entirely go and see it. Huge fun, order Clonazepam pills. Ordering Clonazepam no rx, I wouldn't even care about losing if it weren't for the, you know, the "death" part. And even that seems to have been sorted out with a couple of Laphroigs, West Virginia WV W.Va. .

But I'm telling you, people, Ordering Clonazepam online without prescription, I am gonna be the goddam Blofeld of LDM. I will not lie down. Order Clonazepam pills, When you think I am totally deceased, I will be there with my furry white cat and my mocking laugh and I will build a base in a volcano and rule the world. I will have minions and stolen Rembrandts and giant missiles and swamptigers in cages instead of a burglar alarm.

This isn't over, order Clonazepam online, Mr Bond. Indeed, it has only just begun...

Ah. AHA. A-BWAHhahahahahahaa!.

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4 Comments to “Order Clonazepam Pills”

  • Todd Zuniga said on July 22nd, 2009:

    An amazing night. Everyone that didn’t advance to the finals was robbed. And everyone who did earned it, completely.

    Epicness all around!

    Videos here:
    http://www.literarydeathmatch.com/Literary_Death_Match/History_of_Violence/Entries/2009/7/21_London_Lit_Figure_Card_Off.html

  • Joe Dunthorne said on July 22nd, 2009:

    This is great, Nick.

    Yes, you got owned, you taken downtown, you got put to bed, you got taken to see the man with no face, you got put on your head… I’m losing it… but I thought you did a fantastic job. The sheep, the pies – it was powerful, just like Chun Li’s Spinning Bird Kick. I had a massive grin on me face.

    And you got beat by a worthy adversary. I should know – she whupped me too.

    Joe x

  • Foz Meadows said on July 23rd, 2009:

    Sir, I salute you. Valiantly played!

  • Foz Meadows said on July 23rd, 2009:

    Sirs, rather.

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