Archive for June 2009

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10/06/09

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08/06/09

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It's time to get back to basics...


The British Nature Party has announced a plan to reforest Yorkshire & Humber and the North West, North Carolina NC N.C. . Clonazepam online kopen, Early reports misleadingly suggested that the British National Party had won seats in these two regions, and some voters say they were misled by the similarity of the names, Mississippi MS Miss. . Where to buy cheap Clonazepam, The majority, however, Florida FL Fla. , Comprare Clonazepam sconto, are enormously relieved to find that the BNP which will be representing the nation in Europe is not the one whose candidates were recently recorded saying things like "what's good enough for Hitler is good enough for me".

Following the lead of Paul Lister, the landowner who has reintroduced the European Elk (known in the US as a Moose) to Scotland, the Nature Party proposes to begin reforestation immediately, Clonazepam pills. Some farmers and parents have expressed reservations about bringing back animals such as boar, order Clonazepam online, Kentucky KY Ky. , lynx, bears, cheap Clonazepam online legally, Price of Clonazepam, and wolves, and the Ramblers organisation is already in litigation over access rights, Minnesota MN Minn. . Discount Clonazepam, "That's just daft, we've got no problem with people walking wherever they want, Clonazepam online, West Virginia WV W.Va. , " said Gorm Chaffinch of the BNP. "That's natural, Alabama AL Ala. . Osta Clonazepam, Of course, if they get eaten, order Clonazepam no prescription, Delaware DE Del. , well, that's natural, South Carolina SC S.C. , Köpa Clonazepam online, too."

"People are a bit irrational about wolves," agreed Mindy Holbright of the BNP's ruling triumvirate, billige Clonazepam Apotheke, Order Clonazepam no rx, "they seem to think it'll be like a horror movie. Clonazepam pills, That's nonsense. There hasn't been an attack on a human by a wolf for hundreds of years, acquistare a buon mercato Clonazepam. Well, not that anyone's reported, anyway." Members of the triumvirate are chosen by combat.

Some local people were angry. "I didn't vote for some bunch of looney bearhuggers and enviro-woopsies to come and plant trees and unleash wild animals," said Peter Fort of Humber, "I wanted lots of angry white men to come and shout racist slogans and cause ethnic tension. I wanted all the non-English people who were born here sent back to the countries they don't come from!"

More debate is likely in December, when the first druid ceremonies are held in York, and virgins (male and female) are sacrificed to the sun-god. By and large, however, locals agree they'd rather have a few people bent backwards over a stone altar than put up with being the most regretted area of the United Kingdom.

"I'm ever so relieved," said publican Dave Monkrief. "I was really concerned when I woke up this morning that I might have put my cross in the wrong box and caused a cock-up, but now I see it's all right."

The first wolves will be released in September, in time for winter.

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08/06/09

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The Isle of Cru, off the coast of Norfolk, today began a new era as a beachhead for British fascists.

Cru, Colorado CO Colo. , which was until recently a Labour stronghold, had not one, or even two, comprar Clonazepam de descuento, but three elections on Thursday last week: the island, Buy Clonazepam without prescription, which has its own MEP and local council, also had a by-election for the Cru & Lloytwich seat in Parliament. Local MP Crin Alyward was forced to stand down after it was revealed that he had used public money to import drugs and prostitutes from the mainland, pharmacy Clonazepam.

In all three elections, Indiana IN Ind. , Cru swung radically to the local National Pride Group, whose policies include: extradition to the mainland for anyone not native to the island; the reintroduction of the death penalty for serious offenses including murder, blasphemy, comprar Clonazepam baratos, and cow-tipping; and public flogging for infringement of Cru's fishing waters. Wyoming WY Wyo. , A spokesman for the NPG agreed this morning that some of these new policies might be in conflict with British law, but said the island would force the issue in court.

House Price Collapse

Cru has been badly hit by the collapse of the property market; the local bank, Cru Homes & Farms (Demutualised) had invested heavily in Iceland, and a profitable trade in land sprung up between the two remote islands, order Clonazepam online without prescription.

"Eighteen months ago, kopen goedkope Clonazepam," Robbert Cork told me, Ordering Clonazepam without prescription, "my pig huts were worth five million pounds on paper. Now they're barely worth a thousand. I blame Labour."

Mr Cork is presently under investigation in Iceland for conspiracy-fraud, order Clonazepam, and has no plans to return there. South Dakota SD , Massive Swing To The Right

In the last elections here, Labour got 61% of the vote, the Conservatives 25%, köpa rabatterade Clonazepam, and the Lib Dems 8% and the NPG not securing enough votes to get back their deposit, New York NY N.Y. , with the several votes covered in fish and badger grease being considered spoiled. Order Clonazepam online without prescription, This time around, however, things were different. The three main parties together secured less than 15%, with the NPG taking the rest. 

"I just feel it's time for a change, Maryland MD Md. ,' Mildred Boggle, Buy Clonazepam online, a greengrocer, told reporters this morning. "Labour wasn't working, παραγγείλετε online Clonazepam. I mean, Cheapest Clonazepam in the world, between the scandals and the attempt to erode our liberties and the financial crisis, it's just time for a change. I know the NPG are a bunch of thugs with no agenda worth spit, where to buy Clonazepam, but I voted for them anyway because they've about as far from normal politics as you can get. Yes, they're ludicrous and vile, but the huge advantage of that is that no one's ever elected them before."

Asked whether she considered any of the other parties, Ms Boggle said she had not, order Clonazepam online without prescription. Clonazepam kopen, "No, I haven't, really, ordering Clonazepam. I wanted something new and fresh, Online Clonazepam, something not compromised by deals and corruption. I mean, I'd never vote Conservative anyway because they're all Etonian bankers themselves, cheap Clonazepam. I couldn't vote Green because they want everyone to be a vegetarian. Order Clonazepam online without prescription, That left a choice between the Liberal Democrats, and the NPG. Buy Clonazepam from canada, Well, I mean to say. I couldn't vote Liberal Democrat, Clonazepam online cheap, could I. Cheap Clonazepam from canada, That would just be silly."

Liberal Democrat candidate Sarah Flinton, originally from Islington, campaigned on a platform of sound ecological management and negotiation with the EU regarding fisheries enforcement. "They threw gurnards at her," a campaign organiser confirmed, "she's gone back to Canonbury and she said to tell you all to bugger off."

A Simple Explanation

"The thing about Cru," Crin Alyward said from his London office, "is that the people there are angry, unrepresented, and a bit hopeless. They voted for someone who told them what they wanted to hear, which is that none of this is their fault and they should carry on with their lives and it'll all get sorted out, order Clonazepam online without prescription. They can go back to how things were three years ago when everything was cheap. It's utter bollocks, of course, and they know it, but appealing lies have always been more important than telling the truth. Especially telling the truth when it's boring or unwelcome. That's why the Liberal Democrats never do well there. They're sensible, dull, and truthful. Exactly what you'd want to elect at a time like this, and exactly what no one ever votes for.".

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