Ten Ways In Which Uhura Is Cooler Than Kirk

12/05/09

Tuesday morning, while the tea brews…

[Spoilers, frivolous, kinda]

 

1. She can hear a mouth-breather beneath the sound of her room-mate’s desperate distracting chatter. He can’t think of a better place to hide than under a bed.

2. Reactions to Spock - 

     Kirk: who’s that pointy-eared bastard?

     Uhura: hmm… the superintelligent yet lonesome alien-human hybrid is smokin’ hot!

3. We do not have to hear about Uhura’s childhood.

4. Reactions to Kirk - 

     Kirk: why, hello there, you sophisticated James-Dean-lookin’ farmboy rebel!

     Uhura: ooooh, dearie dear. 

5. Reactions to Uhura -

     Uhura: Hm. Perhaps if I added another field of expertise to my toploaded brain and superb if over-exposed legs, that would be a good plan.

     Kirk: Muuuuust maaaaaate!

     Uhura: ooooh, dearie dear.

6. Romantic interest:

     Uhura: Vulcan-human hybrid, vastly intelligent, loyal; a hero.

     Kirk: green dorm-room chick.

7. Threat of violence: Good or Bad?

     Kirk: Bring it on. I happen to have cheatcodes.

     Uhura: Or we could try talking.

8. Reactions to authority:

     Kirk: Orders are for lesser men!

     Uhura: As long as you’re a good commander and in possession of all the data…

9. What it takes to persuade them to do the right thing:

     Uhura: looks at the evidence, listens to both sides, choses truth over personal animosity or convenience even in the face of the potential disapproval of a superior officer.

     Kirk: Time-travelling, universe-traversing genius with super-advanced blackhole-proof ship telepathically reveals emotional and intellectual truth of situation, explains entire human race in jeopardy.

10. Uhura is not at any time seen with two pieces of tissue paper up her nose.

10 Comments to “Ten Ways In Which Uhura Is Cooler Than Kirk”

  • Rachel said on May 12th, 2009:

    You’ve spent wayyyy to much time thinking about this. I respect you for that!

  • Nick Harkaway said on May 12th, 2009:

    Who, me? No, no. Er. Yes.

  • Colin said on May 12th, 2009:

    The only thing I remember thinking about the dorm-room scene was “mmm…Pine in underwear…”

    Which I guess puts me in the “Kirk” category of Deep Thought. :)

  • Steven said on May 12th, 2009:

    Regrettably, I too must admit to pine-in-underwear related thoughts.

  • Nick Harkaway said on May 12th, 2009:

    I suspect that is part of the Pine Function in the movie… :)

  • Colin said on May 12th, 2009:

    Can I point out that “Pine” = “Wood”? Or would that just be gratuitous and egregious, especially on your blog, Nick?

  • Nick Harkaway said on May 12th, 2009:

    I’ve always felt this blog should have more of a bordello chic feel to it. Perhaps a glass of absinthe and a Romantic poet with your velvet frock coat, sir?

  • Steven said on May 13th, 2009:

    Hehe… Wood… Sorry.

  • Colin said on May 13th, 2009:

    I think Steven and I should get a room. Perhaps at the Ace Of Thighs?

  • mon said on December 14th, 2009:

    uhura is an ugly alien. ew :p

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