Friend: Dude. You got shortlisted.

Me: I did…

Friend: For Best Novel…

Me: By the BSFA. Yes.

Friend: Well, okay. That’s a bit of a shame.

Me: I know I’m going to regret this, but… why?

Friend: Well, they have a prize for short fiction, right?

Me: Yes…

Friend: It just seems to me that if there was a category for LUDICROUSLY LONG fiction, you would be a shoo-in.

Me: *sigh*

Friend: *innocent* No?

Me: Did you just invent a whole new category in which Stephenson can kick my ass?