It hadn’t occurred to me that India was such a curious shape. I’m talking about that little whojimmy off to the east – although ‘little’ isn’t really very accurate, as it’s a couple of thousand kilometres across.
I also hadn’t realised – mostly because I’ve never really thought about it – that Brunei (officially, the State of Brunei, Abode of Peace) was down there between India and Australia.
“Well, Harkaway,” I hear you say, “that’s all very well and I feel frightfully glad you’ve shared this rather ho-hum insight with the group, but if you’re all finished with the geography lesson, I’ve got some more breadcrumbs to count and I’ve still got to finish ironing my collection of lightbulb boxes, so…”
Well, I haven’t quite finished. Looking at the map, I found mysef thinking about Addeh Katir.
Addeh Katir, for those of you who haven’t read The Gone-Away World yet (ahem ahem), is a small nation in the crook of the Himalayas which is the focus of a large and ultimately very significant war. Someone asked recently if I’d been there, and how the people felt about what I’d said about their home…
“The lunatic Harkaway has traduced our noble God-Emperor, Erwin Mohander Kumar. Should he dare to set foot once again in the land of the lake people, let his nose be struck from his face with a nine-iron and his corpse stuffed with apricots.” E. Mohander Kumar, chief literary critic for life, Erwinville Times.
“Left-leaning satirists like Harkaway persistently fail to understand the economic realities of the underlying financial strata. The first rule of Transnational Fiscal Re-Inflationary Statebuilding is that the new entity must engage in robust discontinuation of debt-default, deregulation of the utility markets, and strenuous incentivisation of inward investment by global leaders. Get that done, and the market will take care of the rest.” Mycroft Yarb, Addeh Investco Quarterly Report.
“There are no fire ants here. Also, it’s quite unfair to suggest that we censor foodstuffs. I know of no incidents involving cat-related injuries. I think the whole thing is made up.” Major Loff Hørenzij, Command Spokesperson, Addeh Expeditionary Force.
“They killed all my sheep. So that is right. Otherwise, I have heard that it is a funny book. I will ask my brother in London to send me the paperback in February.” Choi Lak, farmer.
“Every word one hundred percent true. Most especially the good bits, which are about me.” Freeman ibn Solomon, as relayed by the Konditorei Lauener, Basel.
